Each of you were contacted, personally, by me, for a reason. I know of your past. I have connections. You need not worry, however. You may know of me. My name is Bain. Yes, the Bain. Known as Bain Safecracker, Bain Ironlimb, Bain the Brain, and other stupid monikers that cops and nobodies alike have given me. But you can just call me Bain, and if you accept this, I can be your man.
You see, I suffered a tragic accident that has unfortunately rendered me incapable of my old way of life. And I’m getting older, and I want to pass on my skills and expertise to the next generation. So I want to extend this invitation, personally, to you.
You will not meet me in person. Not at first. You see, first, you will have to pass a few tests. I know all of you are less-than-legal minded people, but I can assure you, I can give you all the wealth in Ardonia if you just stick with me. And of course, split a little with me. I’m already rich; I won’t ask for much. Just twenty percent off the top.
If you accept this offer, come to Cogsmash. Not the fanciest place in the world, I know, but it’s perfect for folk like ourselves. And you know exactly the kind I am talking about.
The Shattered Flywheel Inn. Dusk. You have 14 days from the time you get this message to be there. And don’t worry, I already know you’re reading this.